The 4th Trimester, the things they don’t tell you about after you’ve given birth.

You’re probably thinking what on earth am I talking about, we’re only told about 3 trimesters. That’s the the thing, no one tells us about the after birth affects but don’t worry, I’m here to spill the tea.

So I’ve just given birth to my 1st, in a somewhat calm and controlled manner (nothing like Rayan’s eventful delivery) and I’m just enjoying a moment with him on my chest, he came surprisingly clean not like how the babies look on one born every minute with all that gunk on them, he actually looked like he had a shower before meeting me.

Anyway I did a bit of delayed cord clamping, something I researched and thought would be cool to do apparently there are benefits for doing it. After some time my husband was called to cut the cord then I was asked to deliver my placenta. Honestly you read right, I actually had to go through the process of pushing, then pausing and then panting, basically everything I just did to give birth to my baby, I had to do again for my placenta to come out. To be honest after delivering a mini human, delivering a placenta isn’t bad at all in comparison.

After everything was out, baby & placenta they then asked if I wanted pain relief before they examined me to make sure everything that was meant to be out was out and to check for any tearing or grazes. So me being the naive first time mum that I was I said yes. I was taken by surprise when she shoved a tablet up my back passage. I mean why had I never heard about this? I had a little graze which she put a little triple stitch in and I was good.

That was all done, I slept for a bit, got cleaned up then I was wheeled to the postnatal ward. On the ward a midwife assistant came around with the drug cart asking everyone if they wanted painkillers, I was surprisingly fine so I said no. I didn’t know what was ahead that’s why otherwise I would’ve been smart and taken some. Fortunately for me my babies manage to latch straight away with no problems. So that’s how I realised quickly why the lady was going around with the cart like a drug dealer. The pain I felt in my stomach every time Naeem was feeding, was like labour all over again, they said it was ‘good’ pain, it meant my uterus was contracting, which should help my tummy go down quicker. I soon called the shotter back to deal me some painkillers. I did not read this in any of the books, nor was I told about this after pain at antenatal classes. Heck even my so called friends and family couldn’t give me a heads up. And did you know, it gets worse with every child.

See this next bit I kinda had an incline, I heard loads of people talk about the 1st time you go to the toilet after giving birth. Because of all the horror stories I heard, I was mentally prepared for it to be one of the worst things ever but do you know what? I was actually fine, as long as you pour water at the same time as you wee it should dilute it and not sting so bad so there’s a hack for you. However if you’ve torn your perineum, that bit between your mini and your bum then you may want to pee whilst laying in a tub of water. You might think that’s gross but I’d rather do that than go through agony after just giving birth. Another thing I’ve heard about ladies who’ve either teared or had episiotomy which is when they cut your perineum that bit between your mini and bum, apparently doing a number 2 is no joke but they encourage women to go as many get constipated because they avoid going through fear. I can’t really comment about this but I’d research it before labour if I were you, in case their are hacks out there to ease your journey easing lol and you never know it may not be as bad as you think.

Another thing is how society tells you to feel after you have your baby. They make it seem like it’s all rainbows and unicorns. The reality is not every body feels like that and it’s ok. I mean I was happy and I did love my baby but I didn’t have that overwhelming feeling of love that comes gushing out as it’s depicted, I didn’t cry uncontrollably, I believe my love grew as the days went on. What I’m saying is don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t feel like love at first sight. You’re not not normal, you’re human and everyone’s emotions and hormones work different. I have a friend who wanted nothing to do with her baby when she was first born, she was still in a state of shock from the traumatic delivery but now her daughter is a little madam and they’re like best friends. The affection isn’t always instant and that’s fine, trust me when I tell you, you are not alone.

So the cat’s out the bag now ladies. I didn’t write these things to scare anyone from having kids, I just believe that things are better when one is informed and expectations are managed. With all my experiences I’d still go again because it’s all worth it in the end.

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