Honestly, I don’t know what to say or where to start but yeh we’re having another baby!
Let me start at the beginning, well not the beginning beginning if you know what I mean but to the point where I found out I was growing another human.
February 16th I remember because it was two days after Valentine’s Day. I sat to myself thinking hang on a minute I don’t recall having a period in the new building at work. See I don’t really track my menstrual cycle but somehow this inner voice knows when to tell me “honey you’re late”. At work we recently moved from one building to another so I thought I’d message a few of my colleagues to ask if they recall when exactly we moved. One said roughly four weeks ago and the other came with a specific date 14 January 2019.
At that point something inside me just knew the seed had been planted. Reason being my last period was about a week before we left the old building and as much as I don’t track I just know if I haven’t heard my inner voice then I know I’m not late. But this time I heard her loud and clear.
I started to go into panic mode because although I’ve made no secret about wanting more, I simply wasn’t ready yet. The two that I have are more than enough for now. I was hoping I could focus on them until they started school and other areas of our personal life were in order. However when God says be there ain’t nothing stopping it from happening, I mean Rayan’s pregnancy was testimony to that as I was on the coil.
Anyway where was I? Oh yes February 16th I was on my way to my friend’s house so on my way I picked up two pregnancy tests from the pound shop, I’ve never in my life spent more than a pound on a test, all I need to know is am I pregnant or not and I find the Poundland ones detect pregnancies pretty early.
So when I got to my friend’s I went to the loo and peed on the stick. I bought two types the strip ones and the one with the plastic casing. I started with the strip one, out of nerves I peed all over the stick to the point it voided the test. So I composed myself and started again with the faux fancy one with the pink and white case. It took some time to show but I could swear I could see a faint line forming. I’ve never said “f*ck my life” so many times in quick succession ever. I showed my friend the stick in utter shock and she was like “nah nah you’re not, don’t worry you’re not”, I was like look “there’s a faint line”. I was convinced I was and just put the stick in the box and the box in my bag.
I was in a daze, kept saying what am I going to do repeatedly, I was still in utter shock. So many things were going through my mind at the time. I didn’t feel like this was the right time to bring another child into the current mix but hey I trust that God would guide me in any case and all will be ok in the end.
After about 15 minutes something said to look at the test again and there it was the undoubtable second line.